Your Chart Tells A Lot About Your Parenting Style – Do You Know Yours?
Are you aware of all the fanciful terms given for different parenting style? I believe the most common ones will be Tiger Mum and Helicopter Mum. But have you heard of Elephant Mum, Pussycat Mum, Dolphin Mum and etc? The list can just keep going on and on and it gets weirder and weirder.
In Zi Wei Dou Shu Destiny chart, you can decode your unique parenting style based on your “Children” Palace as it represents your attitudes towards your children.
What is Your Parenting Style?
In Zi Wei Dou Shu astrology, there are primarily 14 main stars, 6 supporting stars and 4 destructive stars, accompanied with other minor ones that reside in the different palaces. In this article, we will reveal your parenting style by understanding the stars in your children palace.
What does it mean to have Destructive Stars in Your “Children” Palace?
If you have these destructive stars in the “Children” Palace, the relationship with your little ones may not be as harmonious as you wish it is. But don’t fret, if you can understand the reason beforehand, you can use them to your advantage. The attributes of the stars bring different effect on your parenting style, so let’s go through one by one.
1. Goat Blade – Strict and Authoritive Parenting Style
You are strict and disciplined all the time, seldom laugh or praise your child. You tend to be demanding in your way of communication and make your children listen to you.
This can be harmful in the long run because strict parenting often produces children with low esteem and might create behaviour problems.
2. Fiery Ball – Quick Tempered
You tend to be impatient and temperamental whenever you are spending time with your children. You should not lose your temper over the most trivial things, because eventually if you get angry over an important matter, your child might just ignore it.
3. Spinning Top – Attachment Parenting Style
If you have this star in your children’s palace, you are a parent who is harder to let go and feel emotionally attached to them at times. This may sound as a plus point but it will eventually bring emotional distress to your children. This is especially true when they become more dependent and wish to have more freedom in their own ways.
4. Scalpel – Thoughtful
This kind of parent will always plan and strategize for their children that are beneficial, so as compared to the other destructive stars, it might not seem too bad. But In the long run, your children might feel that you are manipulating them in your way and will feel distanced as they grow.
What does it mean to have Strong Main Stars in Your “Children” Palace?
Beside the destructive stars, there are also main stars that contribute to an assertive parenting style. If you have main stars like “Emperor”, “Imperial Lord”, “Imperial Guard”,”General”, “Vanguard”, “Sun”, there will a high chance of tension between your children and yourself. So adopting the right communication style is essential in this scenario to further lessen the friction.
How do the 4 transformers in Zi Wei Dou Shu Affect your Parenting Style?
In Imperial astrology, there is a concept of transformation in the stars that can influence the palace they reside in. They are namely Enriched (化禄), Controlled (化权), Surfaced (化科) and Hollowed (化忌). What does it represent if it falls into the children’s palace?
1. Enriched (化禄)
If you have an “Enriched” transformer in the palace that represents people, for example, spouse, parent, sibling or children, there is an indication that you enjoy a good relationship with the respective individual. In this case for a children palace, it means that you will enjoy a positive parent-child relationship. You tend to give the best for your little ones and do everything to ensure that they are happy. But be careful not to overly pamper them because you might end up spoiling them, turning them into a brat.
2. Controlled (化权)
As the word suggested, you have the tendency to exert too much control or authority over your children. If this combines with the assertive main stars, there is a high chance of conflicts and argument due to communication breakdown at home.
3. Surfaced (化科)
You have high expectations of your children and always demand them to perform at their best to bring fame and reputation to you. In the process of growing up, everything must be the best, for example, the schools they attend and even the careers or occupation they want to be. It must be something that can bring them face so that they can show off to relatives and friends. But do you know that all these might bring stress and tension incidentally?
4. Hollowed (化忌)
Your children are your key motivator in life as you will always feel the needs and urge to fill up for them. There is no regret and complaints even if it may tire you out. The various main stars with the hollowed will have different effects. For example, if you have the “Strategist” star with hollowed transformer, it indicates that you will always have the feeling of not doing enough and keep worrying about your children.
Your Child’s Life Destiny Chart Does Matter too
Is that all? Of course not. You need to also understand your child because both of you are an individual entity with your own unique destiny chart. So it is important to understand the traits and character of your little one too in order to construct the right communication style.
Just to illustrate some examples:
- By nature, there are some children who are more dependent towards their parents and will prefer to take direct instructions and guidance. This is especially true for children that have these main stars, “Child”, “Moon”, “Sage” and “Specialist” in their “Life” palace.
- There is also another group of children that has strong main stars in their Life palace. It might be more challenging and tiresome as they have their own thoughts and love to take charge.
Deciphering our parenting style and understanding our child through Zi Wei Dou Shu will help in many areas:
- Adapting the right communication style to minimize friction and conflict
- Building a positive environment for our little ones
- Fostering and nurturing a healthier parent-child relationship
This may not be an easy feat but there is a saying goes “Watch Your Characters as they become your Destiny.”
Enjoy building good relationships and having the right communication style with your children.
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